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No ritmo de Star Wars: Force Awakens, relembre os “crássicos” Star Wars Gangsta Rap

by on dezembro 15, 2015
 

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Star Wars é uma franquia que gerou milhares de projetos de fãs. Mas talvez nenhum seja tão inusitado quantos os vídeos do povo da Atomfilms. Quais são as pérolas em questão? Que tal ver os personagens da trilogia clássica descendo o pancadão, pagando de malzão e mandando várias rimas no estilo rap e hip hop? É isso que propõe Star Wars Gangsta Rap e Star Wars Gangsta Rap: Chronicles. O troço dirigido por Thomas Lee e escrito por Jason Brannon e Chris Crawford foi tão bem aceito que até ganhou o Official Star Wars Fan Film Awards em 2002 na categoria escolha da audiência. Então, se você viu na época ou nunca viu, confira abaixo os dois vídeos e acompanhe a divertida palhaçada com as letras que estão aqui nessa página para sua conveniência. All too easy, não é?

Star Wars Gangsta Rap

Sidius:

It’s not the east or the west side.

Vader: No its not

Sidius: It’s not the north or the south side.

Vader: No its not

Sidius: It’s the Dark side

Vader: You are correct

Sidius: Keep frontin’ the Empire, to all you Vader haters out there, we’ll blow your planet up!

Vader:

What is thy bidding my master?

Sidius:

It’s a disaster, Skywalker we’re after

Vader:

What if he could be turned to the dark side-

Sidius:

Yes, he’d be a powerful ally, another dark jedi…

Vader:

He will join us or die.

 

We got deathstar (Deathstar)

We got deathstar (Deathstar)

We got deathstar (Deathstar)

We got deathstar (Deathstar)

We got deathstar (Deathstar)

We got deathstar (Deathstar)

We got deathstar (Deathstar)

We got deathstar (Deathstar)

And you know that we got it (Deathstar)

And you know that we got it (Deathstar)

 

Uncle Owen:

Luke, getcho butt over here right now,

Stop muckin around with that damn landspeeder,

Where them two droids I asked you to clean boy?,

Did you clean your room?

 

Luke:

Uncle Owen, I know I’m on probation

I cleaned the droids

Can I go to tashi station

I got a lay away on a power converter

But now you’re treating me like a scruffy nerf herder

 

Obi Wan (Ben):

Luke use the force and run

Run to dagobah run to dagobah

Luke use the force and run

Run to dagobah run to dagobah

 

Yoda:

I’m Yoda, I’ma solja

I’m low to the floja

I though I told ya

Don’t be unwise

Judge me not by my size

You won’t believe your eyes

Once the X wing rise

 

Luke:

Yoda, why you bein’ a playa hata?

You know that I must still confront Lord Vader

 

Yoda:

But Luke,

Not ready are you

 

Luke:

But there’s a city in the clouds where they’re keeping my crew

A Jedi’s got to do what a Jedi’s got to do

So now Vader, I’m coming for you

 

That’s right R2, gonna set a new course, we’re going to Cloud City

(ahhh) That’s mighty good gin and tonic, why don’t ya fix me up another?

Thing’s are bout to get ugly

 

Vader:

Impressive now release your anger

You must have sensed what your friends are in danger

 

Luke:

OWW! Why’d you slice off my hand?

 

Vader:

Its imperative you understand

Obi Wan would never bother

Telling you about your father

 

Luke:

He told me enough – he told me you killed him

 

Vader:

Then there’s something I must reveal then:

I’m your father

I’m your father

I’m your father

I’m your father

I’m your father

I’m your father

I’m your father

I’m your father

 

Han Solo:

Knock em out the box Luke

Knock em out

Knock em out the box Luke

Knock em out

Knock em out the box Luke

Knock em out

Knock em out the box Luke

Knock em out

Knock em out the box Luke…

 

Star Wars Gangsta Rap: Chronicles

 

(Darth Vader’s rap)

I’m Lord Vader and I get respect

Your planet and your life is what I expect

Cape on my back, cable box on my chest

Leather pants till my death, hot oil on my breath

 

Don’t be jealous of my boots, jealous of my gloves,

Jealous of my belt with the blinking lights ‘cause

I’m the dark lord with the power to diss

Dismiss your feeble skills like they’re Bantha piss

 

(Emperor’s rap)

1, 2, 3, and to the 4

It’s the emperor coming thru the door

Ready to make an entrance so back on up

I’m about to blow some planets up

 

Ha-ha, ha-ha

 

Yeah, you know I’m crazy

And my skin is pale and pasty

Cuz I’m evil, I like it when planets go BOOM!

I once got busy in the Death Star bathroom

 

(Storm trooper’s rap)

Ra-ta-tat-tat storm trooper attack

A hundred laser blasts and I still can’t hit jack

Galactic recession you can’t avoid

I’ll be unemployed if the Death Star’s destroyed

 

(Luke Skywalker’s rap)

4 and 3 and 2 and 1

And when I’m on the mic the Sand People run

‘Cause the Force is flowing

The light saber glowing

I drink my blue milk cuz it keeps me growing

 

I’m not joking, my family’s straight broken

Now uncle Owen’s in the front yard smoking

A barbecue for aunt Beru

Now there’s nothing left on the farm to do

 

Sold my land speeder and I sold my comb

Now I’m feathering my hair all alone

I’m a Jedi Knight with a license to kill

I think you know what time it is, it’s time to get ill

 

(Han Solo’s rap)

In my vest, I’m the best smuggla

Light beer chuggla, Leia’s main snuggla

Shakin’ loan sharks when the Falcon starts

Cheweie’s killing Gundarks with them Wookie farts

 

(Princess Leia’s rap)

I’m Leia all up in your face

I’m the only chick in outer space

Gold bikini there is no other

I got to first base with my brother

 

(Lando’s rap)

I’m not intergalactically known

But I wear a blue cape at home

Lost the Falcon I was low on cash

Don’t talk trash about my mustache

 

I can’t swindle I’ll get crooked

I had Han but Vader took him

Now look what we have here

I’m still balling year after year

 

(Obi-Wan’s rap)

Public enemy Obi-Wan

Storm troopers said freeze but they got none

I can make them say I never had a laser gun

But it’s the Jedi’s tricks I’m playing on your mind, son

 

Cuz I’m old Ben eating Uncle Ben’s

In my burlap depends

No next of kin

I’ll tell ya about the twins

 

And trying to make amends

with my old friends

Obi out and I’m ghost again

 

(C-3PO’s rap)

6 million form of ill communication

E Chu Ta no need for translation

Odds of me complaining is 1 to 1

Jabba never wears any pants for fun

 

(Jabba’s rap)

I’m obese, I never count the calories

A freak show gallery is my reality

Love them slave girls but I need some more

More people snacks for the rancor

 

(C-3PO’s rap 2)

Who’s the mack

Is it R2-D2

Holograms every time that he sees you

Alwasy pluggin into systems unprotected

Is your 5 and a quarter floppy drive infected?

 

(Master Yoda’s rap)

Swamp water I drink and root leaf I eat

Three dirty toes on my green wrinkled feet

Snakes in my bed can’t get any sleep

Trainig’s complete can I borrow a sheet?

 

I wish I was 3 foot taller

I wish I was a baller

I wish I had a soft shell turtle I would call her

Wish I had a snake in a hat

 

Not a Womprat with a Tydirium Impala

Yeah boy

Star Wars fans never die

They just multiply

 

Word to your mother

Rest I need… Rest

Forever sleep…

 

Pois é, é o que tem pra hoje. E pode falar o que for, mas o Lado Negro ganha fácil quando o quesito é rap. Lorde Vader e Palpatine são os melhores MC’s da galáxia!

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