No ritmo de Star Wars: Force Awakens, relembre os “crássicos” Star Wars Gangsta Rap
Star Wars é uma franquia que gerou milhares de projetos de fãs. Mas talvez nenhum seja tão inusitado quantos os vídeos do povo da Atomfilms. Quais são as pérolas em questão? Que tal ver os personagens da trilogia clássica descendo o pancadão, pagando de malzão e mandando várias rimas no estilo rap e hip hop? É isso que propõe Star Wars Gangsta Rap e Star Wars Gangsta Rap: Chronicles. O troço dirigido por Thomas Lee e escrito por Jason Brannon e Chris Crawford foi tão bem aceito que até ganhou o Official Star Wars Fan Film Awards em 2002 na categoria escolha da audiência. Então, se você viu na época ou nunca viu, confira abaixo os dois vídeos e acompanhe a divertida palhaçada com as letras que estão aqui nessa página para sua conveniência. All too easy, não é?
Star Wars Gangsta Rap
Sidius:
It’s not the east or the west side.
Vader: No its not
Sidius: It’s not the north or the south side.
Vader: No its not
Sidius: It’s the Dark side
Vader: You are correct
Sidius: Keep frontin’ the Empire, to all you Vader haters out there, we’ll blow your planet up!
Vader:
What is thy bidding my master?
Sidius:
It’s a disaster, Skywalker we’re after
Vader:
What if he could be turned to the dark side-
Sidius:
Yes, he’d be a powerful ally, another dark jedi…
Vader:
He will join us or die.
We got deathstar (Deathstar)
We got deathstar (Deathstar)
We got deathstar (Deathstar)
We got deathstar (Deathstar)
We got deathstar (Deathstar)
We got deathstar (Deathstar)
We got deathstar (Deathstar)
We got deathstar (Deathstar)
And you know that we got it (Deathstar)
And you know that we got it (Deathstar)
Uncle Owen:
Luke, getcho butt over here right now,
Stop muckin around with that damn landspeeder,
Where them two droids I asked you to clean boy?,
Did you clean your room?
Luke:
Uncle Owen, I know I’m on probation
I cleaned the droids
Can I go to tashi station
I got a lay away on a power converter
But now you’re treating me like a scruffy nerf herder
Obi Wan (Ben):
Luke use the force and run
Run to dagobah run to dagobah
Luke use the force and run
Run to dagobah run to dagobah
Yoda:
I’m Yoda, I’ma solja
I’m low to the floja
I though I told ya
Don’t be unwise
Judge me not by my size
You won’t believe your eyes
Once the X wing rise
Luke:
Yoda, why you bein’ a playa hata?
You know that I must still confront Lord Vader
Yoda:
But Luke,
Not ready are you
Luke:
But there’s a city in the clouds where they’re keeping my crew
A Jedi’s got to do what a Jedi’s got to do
So now Vader, I’m coming for you
That’s right R2, gonna set a new course, we’re going to Cloud City
(ahhh) That’s mighty good gin and tonic, why don’t ya fix me up another?
Thing’s are bout to get ugly
Vader:
Impressive now release your anger
You must have sensed what your friends are in danger
Luke:
OWW! Why’d you slice off my hand?
Vader:
Its imperative you understand
Obi Wan would never bother
Telling you about your father
Luke:
He told me enough – he told me you killed him
Vader:
Then there’s something I must reveal then:
I’m your father
I’m your father
I’m your father
I’m your father
I’m your father
I’m your father
I’m your father
I’m your father
Han Solo:
Knock em out the box Luke
Knock em out
Knock em out the box Luke
Knock em out
Knock em out the box Luke
Knock em out
Knock em out the box Luke
Knock em out
Knock em out the box Luke…
Star Wars Gangsta Rap: Chronicles
(Darth Vader’s rap)
I’m Lord Vader and I get respect
Your planet and your life is what I expect
Cape on my back, cable box on my chest
Leather pants till my death, hot oil on my breath
Don’t be jealous of my boots, jealous of my gloves,
Jealous of my belt with the blinking lights ‘cause
I’m the dark lord with the power to diss
Dismiss your feeble skills like they’re Bantha piss
(Emperor’s rap)
1, 2, 3, and to the 4
It’s the emperor coming thru the door
Ready to make an entrance so back on up
I’m about to blow some planets up
Ha-ha, ha-ha
Yeah, you know I’m crazy
And my skin is pale and pasty
Cuz I’m evil, I like it when planets go BOOM!
I once got busy in the Death Star bathroom
(Storm trooper’s rap)
Ra-ta-tat-tat storm trooper attack
A hundred laser blasts and I still can’t hit jack
Galactic recession you can’t avoid
I’ll be unemployed if the Death Star’s destroyed
(Luke Skywalker’s rap)
4 and 3 and 2 and 1
And when I’m on the mic the Sand People run
‘Cause the Force is flowing
The light saber glowing
I drink my blue milk cuz it keeps me growing
I’m not joking, my family’s straight broken
Now uncle Owen’s in the front yard smoking
A barbecue for aunt Beru
Now there’s nothing left on the farm to do
Sold my land speeder and I sold my comb
Now I’m feathering my hair all alone
I’m a Jedi Knight with a license to kill
I think you know what time it is, it’s time to get ill
(Han Solo’s rap)
In my vest, I’m the best smuggla
Light beer chuggla, Leia’s main snuggla
Shakin’ loan sharks when the Falcon starts
Cheweie’s killing Gundarks with them Wookie farts
(Princess Leia’s rap)
I’m Leia all up in your face
I’m the only chick in outer space
Gold bikini there is no other
I got to first base with my brother
(Lando’s rap)
I’m not intergalactically known
But I wear a blue cape at home
Lost the Falcon I was low on cash
Don’t talk trash about my mustache
I can’t swindle I’ll get crooked
I had Han but Vader took him
Now look what we have here
I’m still balling year after year
(Obi-Wan’s rap)
Public enemy Obi-Wan
Storm troopers said freeze but they got none
I can make them say I never had a laser gun
But it’s the Jedi’s tricks I’m playing on your mind, son
Cuz I’m old Ben eating Uncle Ben’s
In my burlap depends
No next of kin
I’ll tell ya about the twins
And trying to make amends
with my old friends
Obi out and I’m ghost again
(C-3PO’s rap)
6 million form of ill communication
E Chu Ta no need for translation
Odds of me complaining is 1 to 1
Jabba never wears any pants for fun
(Jabba’s rap)
I’m obese, I never count the calories
A freak show gallery is my reality
Love them slave girls but I need some more
More people snacks for the rancor
(C-3PO’s rap 2)
Who’s the mack
Is it R2-D2
Holograms every time that he sees you
Alwasy pluggin into systems unprotected
Is your 5 and a quarter floppy drive infected?
(Master Yoda’s rap)
Swamp water I drink and root leaf I eat
Three dirty toes on my green wrinkled feet
Snakes in my bed can’t get any sleep
Trainig’s complete can I borrow a sheet?
I wish I was 3 foot taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a soft shell turtle I would call her
Wish I had a snake in a hat
Not a Womprat with a Tydirium Impala
Yeah boy
Star Wars fans never die
They just multiply
Word to your mother
Rest I need… Rest
Forever sleep…
Pois é, é o que tem pra hoje. E pode falar o que for, mas o Lado Negro ganha fácil quando o quesito é rap. Lorde Vader e Palpatine são os melhores MC’s da galáxia!